|
Cylinder Valve Looking For High Quality Cylinder and Valves For Bulk Orders Contact Us Now! www.cylinder-valve.com Motors Controller Programmable Logic Controllers and Motion Controller ,Machine Design offers Engineers useful Information regarding Programmable Logic Controllers. www.motors-controller.com Omron PLC Lernning PLC Programming and Communication. Includes Articles and Informations. www.omron-plc.com Serial Ports Center Detailed Explanations On Interfacing Extend RS232/422/485 Ports PCI, USB, PCMCIA, ISA Multiports . www.serial-ports.com Machines Tool When comparing machine-tool accuracies and repeatability’s, pay particular attention to the machine tool standard. www.machines-tool.com Cartier Santos Site for watches products, Cartier Santos Series Fast and Free Service. Free Shipping Worldwide. www.cartier-santos.com Construction Equipment New & Used Construction Equipment. Compact Excavators, mini excavator loaders, and other earthmoving equipment. www.excavators-compact.com Wedge Shoes & Platforms Funky wood sandals, shoes & more. Many great styles at low prices! www.shoes-black.com |
Additional for More Infromation
Theres a piece circulating the Internet now called When You Thought I Wasnt Looking. Its attributed to a former child, so I dont know whom to credit. It begins with, When you thought I wasnt looking, I saw you hang my painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. Its the things we inadvertently teach our kids.
Theres a piece circulating the Internet now called When You Thought I Wasnt Looking. Its attributed to a former child, so I dont know whom to credit. It begins with, When you thought I wasnt looking, I saw you hang my painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. Its the things we inadvertently teach our kids.
Its many examples show we teach not what we know, but who we are, which is as true in the workplace as it is in the home, regardless of the age of participants. It pertains to emotional intelligence, which I coach, which includes the competency of Intentionality doing what you intend to do.
EQ means understanding emotions (yours and others), being able to manage and express them appropriately, and understanding the effect you have on others. Like learning pride in work in the example above, we cant learn EQ just by reading it. We cant get it by listening to someone else talk it. We need to see it in action. We also need to put something out there and observe the results. To learn, we need to have pointed out to us what is going on, during and after the fact, because the emotional component can fog our thinking.
You are being watched, yes, and you are also being misinterpreted.
INTERPRETING NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR
Whatever we are trying to teach our children, or those around us, it isnt stretching a point to say that a child could misinterpret the hanging of a painting on the refrigerator. You never know how a child is going to put things together, just as you never know how another will. One little fellow in my household was incensed that I had hung his painting on the refrigerator, not proud. In the ensuing discussion, it turned out he thought if Id really liked it, I wouldve framed it and hung it on the wall. Thats for baes, he said, pointing at the refrigerator.
I watched a scene the other day in the workplace, where a boss had foisted a stiff deadline on her istant. The istant looked intense as she started the job, then had to move to another desk when the computer locked up.
The boss started maging her shoulders, saying, I hate to stress you this way.
The istant had sensitive neck muscles, so the mage caused pain instead of relief. It was also distracting. Also, because of the statement, she had to worry her boss feelings as well as her own plus do the job.
The istant turned, drew a deep breath and said, with a g smile on her face, I appreciate the mage, but it hurts and its distracting. Im trying to concentrate. Im not angry at being asked to do this, and not angry at you. What I am is frustrated because .. and she listed the chronic computer inadequacies. What would help, she said, is if you would and gave her boss something concrete to do that would forward the task.
Later, when the job was finished, they took up the conversation again. I like to shine, the istant said, and I cant when I dont have the proper equipment.
The boss made a note to address that problem.
PROCESSING EMOTIONALLY-LADEN EVENTS
The same scenario is played out daily in every office. Theres no way two people wont be affected by the feelings of the other; and, counter-intuitively, if one is trying to hide feelings, the effect is even greater. The less theyre expressed, the more theyll be open to misinterpretation.
We cant know whats going on with someone else unless we ask. In todays multicultural offices, its particularly dangerous to ume the meaning of an action, gesture or expression. Did you know that in the Middle East, one of the most insulting things you can do is show another person the sole of your shoe? Tell that to the lawyer whose office I entered the other day, who routinely talks on the phone with his feet on the desk, soles pointing toward the incoming visitor!
Only a discussion whats going on can get us inside one anothers mind and heart. In the heat of the moment, such a discussion may have to be postponed, but for good relationships and learning, it does need to take place. The feelings need to be addressed, and the often-misinterpreted nonverbal displays untangled.
INTENTIONALITY
If you want to model good deeds for your child, and make a cake to bring to an ailing neighbor, be sure you address all parts of the action, e.g., make sure youre teaching what you mean to be teaching. This is Intentionality, an EQ competency. If you perform the act begrudgingly, as some sort of onerous duty, throwing the ingredients together and complaining the whole time how overworked you are, you will have defeated your deeper purpose. Unless you mean to teach that life is detrimental self-sacrifice and suffering.
If on the other hand, you happily make the cake and dance out the door to deliver it, your child may miss the point that sometimes helping others may require some inconvenience on ones own part.
Many things we do contain amguity, the hardest thing for kids to figure out. Does Mom like what shes doing, or doesnt she? Emotions are complex and so are our motives. We need instruction in their management. I recall telling my niece, No I dont like to clean toilets. However, I like the feeling I get when the house is clean.
OUTCOMES
In the workplace, if you cheerfully take on extra ignments, you put yourself at-risk for being taken advantage of. If youre putting forth extra effort, you dont need to wear a hair-shirt it, but if you dont point out what youre doing, it can and will be used against you. Typical boss mentality dictates Sheila never complains, so shes OK. Fred complains all the time. Therefore Ill give Fred a raise.
EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION
One of the EQ competencies is emotional expression. However, EQ isnt only emotions, its the interface between thinking and feeling. We always need to explain ourselves to others, our self including both actions and feelings. Therefore we use our intellect to explain our emotions. Good relationships require letting others know how youre feeling right away, alerting them immediately if theyre off-course. It requires explaining that look on your face.
Martha was having trouble at work. She was told in her performance review that no one liked to work with her. In coaching, she discovered that when she was focused, she had a look on her face that was misinterpreted as anger. When she became aware of the effect she was having on others, she learned to modify her nonverbal behavior, i.e., to stop and smile when concentrating, and explain, so others would not be off-put.
OTHERS ARE WATCHING AND MISINTERPRETING
Whatever youre doing, know the effect youre having on others. Check it out!
The above-mentioned piece ends with How will you touch the life of someone today? The task is to care, know, and check it out. Be sure youre touching the lives of others today the way you mean to. Its the emotionally intelligent way.
the Author: Susan Dunn, MA, Life and EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc” title=”http://www.susandunn.cc” target=”_blank”>http://www.susandunn.cc . Susan is the author of How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence,” and other ebooks for your personal and professional development. She coaches individuals in emotional intelligence with applications to all life situations. “It’s the missing piece,” most clients say and find it immediately improves their lives. Susan also trains and certifies EQ coaches, the perfect midlife profession. For more information on this fast, affordable, all long-distance program, or for FREE EQ ezine, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc . Visit the best ebook library on the Internet here: http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html” title=”http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html” target=”_blank”>http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html .
